Why did I watch the news???

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I normally don't watch the news, because my mind goes crazy. But tonight I did. All of the stuff about bailouts is making me sick. Don't people understand that this is on purpose??? The Government wants to move us into a place where we are totally relying on them, not God. It is really time for us to put our selfish things aside. And get our house in order!!! I am not saying this as a Republican or Democrat. I say this as a Christan. We must start getting things in order, if we are to live a long life here on earth. It bothers me that my Husband's Grandfather said that he was happy that he was going to be OK. But sad that we were not. I want my family and the following generations to be OK. When will the people of God start to realize that our Liberties are being taken away??? It will not be long before we become martyrs, because Faith is not of value. We have to start now!!! No more playing house, no more being consumed with worldly things. It is time for us to rise up and stand for what is righteous. The time is now, if we are going to make it out on the other side. As I read what I have written, I feel like a loon. But I am passionate about it for the sake of my children. I know that this is not all Obama's fault. This is 50 years of bad policies. But man, when did bailing someone out of the debt they owed become OK. We are struggling to pay our debt back. That is what you are supposed to do. Besides not having debt in the first place. Every month is a challenge for us, but we make it. Sorry for the ranting, for anyone who reads this. But, God have mercy on this nation!!! Stir up our hearts to stand for righteousness. You are all that matters Lord and I will NOT live in fear. Fear is the place where the enemy paralyzes us. You are good and your mercy endures forever!!!

On my face before God

Monday, March 16, 2009

For me, it always seems, that a huge tragedy has to happen before I let God be in control. I don't know why or what happened to me, that I feel like I can handle every situation on my own. It isn't long before it blows up in my face, and I end up on my face before God almighty. But why are other "so-called" Christians, exempt from this? What makes some people more repentive than others? Is it because they are truly not Christians at all? I think yes!!! I believe that if you are called by God, and a Christian, then the holy spirit would convict your heart of anything. And if you do feel convicted, and you do not repent, then you are in a really bad place and do not Fear God at all. I will be the first to say that I have feared the Lord all my life. But not always in a healthy way. I understand now at my age and what I have gone through that He is all that matters!!! The way I react to his call on my life is absolutely vital. I have been hurt so many times in my life that I have wanted to run from God as fast as I could. But every time, he has convicted me in my heart that running is not an option. So again I ask, What makes some Christians more repentive than others? I would answer, that they do not know God at all.

To love your family!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

When it is all said and done. All you have is your family, and God of course. It amazes me how family can hurt one another so bad. Some people choose to forgive, and others hold on to it for ever. Only repeating behavior, passed on, from generation to generation. When does it ever end? Right now I don't see how!!! How do you deal with family members who don't have the Lord as their priority? How do you forgive, when the hurt is so bad that you don't want to have anything to do with them? Only then there is the situation of family gatherings, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc... My head says "screw it", But my heart says something completely different. We are to love our family!!! No matter what they do to us, no matter how bad we hurt. We have to, they are all that we have while we are here on this earth. I am tyring to be gracious, and be full of God's love. But the difficulty of family is like nothing else. I pray that the Lord will give me strength until he heals the brokenness.

Glory Baby

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I have listened to this song, by Watermark, a hundred times before. But I just remembered about it tonight. When I played it, I felt so many emotions. But finally, some peace. So here are the lyrics, for you to read.

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby.. You were growing, what happened dear? You disappeared on us baby…baby.. Heaven will hold you before we do Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you… Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday Miss you in every way But we know there’s a day when we will hold you We will hold you You’ll kiss our tears away When we’re home to stay Can’t wait for the day when we will see you We will see you But baby let sweet Jesus hold you‘till mom and dad can hold you… You’ll just have heaven before we do You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting We are hurting But there is healing And we know we’re stronger people through the growing And in knowing- That all things work together for our good And God works His purposes just like He said He would… Just like He said He would…
BRIDGE: I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know...

I miss you!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

So, most of my day's are better since your loss. But, sometimes, they are really hard. In quiet moments, I think all about you baby. I picture who you would have looked like, me or your papa. I think about the nursery, and how I would be preparing it, because by now I would know if you were a boy or girl. I wonder how your brothers would be with you. Especially because Caleb still asks about the baby in my tummy. I didn't get enough time with you and I miss you terribly!!! I can't wait to go to heaven so I can hold you in my arms. But that seems like such a long time away. The Lord will have to comfort me until then. I know he will take wonderful care of you, until I am with you. I love you so much!!!

He gives and takes away, but blessed be His name!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Well this post, I must say, is the hardest to write. A week ago I had a miscarriage. It has been the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. There were days that I thought I just wanted to roll over and never wake up. Feelings of shame had set in, like I was wearing the scarlet letter on my chest. But thankfully, the Lord God Almighty is showing me how Awesome he is. I went through thoughts of, "did I cause this by my actions, my thoughts, or whatever?" I know that I did not! God is sovereign over everything including the womb. He is the Author and finisher of everything! I don't know why I had a miscarriage, and won't know until I get to heaven. But I do know that nothing happens without the consent of God himself. I am trying to be thankful that my body has done what God created it to do, although it is somewhat difficult. I know that God is bigger than anything and has EVERYTHING under his complete control.

Mr. Piano Man

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Music is my favorite thing in the whole wide world!!! Besides the Lord and my family of course. I have been wanting a piano for sometime now. And a couple of weeks ago we were blessed with one. I can not tell you how happy it makes me when the boys gently climb up on the bench and begin to bang on the keys as loud as they possibly can. I hope they grow to have an appreciation of music as I do. It is something that has totally enriched my life.